Struggling to Reach Your Goals? Time For a Paradigm Shift (And Maybe Some New Friends)

Setting and reaching a short-term goal isn’t easy, but most people are capable of doing it. Partly because they know where they’re going, and they know what’s required to get there, but predominantly because there’s an expiry date, so their goal is a priority for the 30, 60, or 90 day period.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for setting and reaching long-term goals, or creating lasting behaviors. Because as much as we can say it’s the lack of reinforcement with no end in sight, there’s far more at play here.

Changing your long-term behavior and reaching those bigger goals, often requires a paradigm shift; that sadly, you and most of those around you will resist (whether it’s intentional or not).

I was reminded of this concept while listening to episode 1 of Sean Croxton’s new podcast, The Sessions. He was speaking with Bob Proctor, who is a self-made millionaire, and personal-development guru that credits his success to The Law of Attraction; a concept that was originally written about in “Think and Grow Rich” by Napolean Hill, and repopularized in 2006 with “The Secret.”  The idea being, that you consistently remind yourself of your goals on a daily basis – writing them down, visualizing, etc – until the actions required to reach them enter your subconscious mind and become second nature.


Obviously, this is something I can get behind, as writing down and reviewing your goals is one of the ‘Mental Rules’ discussed in the introduction to Live It NOT Diet!And with respect to paradigm shifting, this is exactly why I have you complete Eat Meat And Stop Jogging before delivering the nutrition and lifestyle plan.

We need to confront your past habits, opinions, and beliefs, and remove these biases to prevent you from getting wrongfully influenced by them in the future. The same way you’d address pre-conceived notions about money to benefit your future wealth, or past experiences with relationships to improve your future happiness.

Although, what Bob brought-up in the interview that was most helpful, is that we need to recognize that there will be resistance to this change. As like it or not, most of those around us will push back, and knowingly or not, we’ll make it difficult on ourselves. Since, our friends and family members are worried we’ll grow apart, and deep down inside we’re worried it too.

Part of the reason this hit home, is because Bob used weight loss as an example; talking about how people lose 10-15 pounds, but end up gaining it back because of peer-pressure and self-sabotage. They change their body, and drastically improving their health, only to fall back into their old ways because of  people around them.

The same group of friends they used to eat crap and be fat with.

fat boys

Bob’s advice is to find new friends, or at the very least, learn to ignore them. As those trying to prevent you from bettering yourself are not your true friends. And frankly, if you know where you’re going and you’re focused on getting there, it’s on them to decide whether you grow together or grow apart – because you’re growing regardless!

It’s unfortunate I know, but so are friends and family members that refuse to support the positive changes you’re trying to make in your life, because of their unwillingness to improve themselves, or insecurities about who you could become. Especially if they took the time to understand the inner battle you’re fighting, and the paradigm you’re overcoming, to initiate the change.

Interestingly, I feel this concept is best explained (and best overcome), by learning about (and thinking about) the Crabs in the Bucket, or “Crab Mentality.” Which is a story, but also a sad reality, that when you put more than one Crab in a Bucket, they will pull any crab down that tries to escape.

  • 1 crab in a bucket – climbs out right away
  • 2 crabs in a bucket – one pulls the other one down when it tries to climb out
  • 3 crabs in a bucket – you get the idea.

Moral of the story being, do whatever it takes to get out of the bucket! As there’s plenty of crabs (outside of that bucket) that won’t pull you down…and if you’re lucky, lift you up.

Stay Lean (and focused)!
Coach Mike


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